| Roz
Warren has edited many collections of women's humor. Here are a few,
which can be pruchased from Amazon.com:
Men
Are from Detroit Women Are from Paris
A hilarious collection of cartoons by women poking fun at men.
Women's
Lip: Outrageous, Irreverent and Just Plain Hilarious Quotes
Comediennes, humorists, film stars and other famous women mouth off.
When
Cats Talk Back: Cat Cartoons With Attitude
Mothers:
Cartoons by Women
Motherhood in graphic laughs. Includes Jan Eliot, Lynda Barry, Nicole
Hollander, Lynn Johnston and many more.
Dyke
Strippers: Lesbian Cartoonists from A to Z
Interviews with lesbian cartoonists with excerpts of their work. An
omnibus of the wild imaginations of lesbian cartoonists.
The
Best Contemporary Women's Humor
A collection of cartoons that runs the topical gamut from Barbie and
bathrooms to morning sickness, motherhood, and rage.
Other stories and humor by Roz Warren:
Big Breasts!!
The Year's Best Short StoryUp
Yours! Piss Off! Fuck You!
Men Who Don't Love Women Enough and How to
Shoot Them |
Air Disaster Horoscope
by Roz Warren (rosalindwarren.com)
 Aries
Concentrate on financial projects during the first half of the month. On the 15th you will die in a major aviation disaster.
Taurus
You will be sitting on the aisle but you'll want a window seat. If nobody takes the window seat you figure you'll move over. But at the last possible minute your worst enemy will board and sit in the window seat. Later, as you begin cutting into the chicken kiev, a small hole will open up in the fuselage beside him and he will be sucked out of the plane and into the engine. Only his dentures will remain, on the seat.
Gemini
Given a choice between salisbury steak and chicken kiev, you will order the chicken kiev; a piece will lodge in your throat over Des Moines, choking you to death.
Cancer
You're on an airplane that's about to land when the pilot comes over the loudspeaker. "We've lost all power in one engine," he says, "but this plane is able to fly on the remaining three engines. However, we'll have to circle awhile to prepare for an emergency landing." Fifteen minutes later the pilot comes on over the loudspeaker again. "We've lost power in another engine," he says, "but this plane is able to fly on the remaining two engines. However, we'll have to circle some more to prepare for an emergency landing." Fifteen minutes later the pilot comes on once again. "We've lost power in another engine," he announces, "but this plane is designed to fly on the remaining engine. However, we'll have to circle some more to prepare for an emergency landing." The guy in the next seat will turn to you. "Hope we don't lose that last engine," he says, "or we'll be up here all day."
Leo
The small child in the seat beside the emergency window exit will open the exit in flight and you will be sucked out. You will land on a suburban home with the force of a small explosion, plummeting through the living room skylight and crushing the room's sole occupant to death.
Virgo
Two small planes will collide over an airport in Cincinnati, but you'll be nowhere near Cincinnati, so you won't give a damn.
Libra
Soon as the plane takes off you'll realize that EVERY SINGLE PASSENGER EXCEPT YOU is a kamikaze Iranian terrorist SEEKING MARTYRDOM, and you'll be so terrified you'll die of a heart attack before you can learn that they're all movie extras flying out to Hollywood to be in "The Ayatollah Story," a made-for-TV-movie starring Don Johnson and Melanie Griffith.
Scorpio
See Virgo.
Sagittarius
Soon as the plane takes off you'll realize that EVERY SINGLE PASSENGER EXCEPT YOU is a kamikaze Iranian terrorist SEEKING MARTYRDOM, and as your heart is about to explode with sheer fright, you'll wake up and realize it's all a dream and that everyone seated around you is ordinary folks just like yourself, which is when the hole will open up in the fuselage beside you.
Capricorn
You will be reading in the evening newspaper about the two small planes that collided over a Cincinnati airport when you recognize that the passenger seated to your left if Salman Rushdie and the passenger seated to your right is reading the Koran, writing his will, and polishing his AK-47.
Aquarius
This is the month all your dreams will come true, if all your dreams are about dying in major aviation disasters.
Pisces
You'll be sitting in your living room reading Expresso Tilt, and a Leo will fall through the skylight and crush you to death. |
